when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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