It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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