you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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