The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
