he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
