Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
