I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
