I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
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Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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