i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
