Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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