and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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