found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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