I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
