i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
