YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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