ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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