You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
