these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
