My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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