why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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