Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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