Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
