Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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