I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
where am i from again
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
