I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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