Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
