There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I supernannyed him into submission
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