Already got asked if we're dating
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
