But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
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i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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