You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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