Duck Duck Cougar?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
