Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize