i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize