Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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