I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
