I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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