Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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