i think i have herpe
just one?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
