um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
