You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
try to milk me bitch
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