Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
