we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
