handjob tips. give me some.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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