I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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