I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
