Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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