suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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