I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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