dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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