Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
