We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
