When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
