So drunk its hurt
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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