Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
