it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
