It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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