I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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