Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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