I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My breasts were aching with rage.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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