**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
