So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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