I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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