I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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