am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
even my farts smell like vagina
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
