i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
